I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry about my life...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
