fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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