I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
