Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
