p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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