i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
