I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
