Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i will never coherently bang her
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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