its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
