I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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