Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
