This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
