That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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