yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
