I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
