I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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