dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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