i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
