the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
