i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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