im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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