it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
