I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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