R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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