You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
