Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
