Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
