Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
