I think i peed on brittanys purse
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
