What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
