I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
