Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this will be a night to untag.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
