he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i believe in u and ur pee
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