I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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