Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
