Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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