I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
