woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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