I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
