he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You ate ashes out of my bong
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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