It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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