Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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