All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
