I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize