So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
