Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
