I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize