she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
