Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
