i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i now understand why vodka
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
