I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
